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Friday, July 11th, 2003
12:26 pm - NEW JOURNAL
i have new journal so add me there its friends only wateris_poison this will be deleted soon.

current mood: sick

3 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
5:49 pm - hope you come down with something they cant diagnose, dont have the cure for.
i came home from school early. im in my pyjamas. nice. the screen is starting to hurt my eyes, i think i should break from the computer soon.

hmm well i made a new journal, mainly because i don't like this name also as i have a load of friends on my list who arent actually active or i dont actually read and i can't be bothered to delete them, so i got a new journal. ive added some people already so look out.

oh and a new email: heartshotkid_disaster@hotmail.com :)

current mood: devious

1 ♥ : break & spill. ?

Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
3:00 pm - where my heart breaks and spills.
ahhah. i really should change the layout on my domain. but im so busy. i had 75 pages of geography coursework in for today, i've done 3. as you can tell i'll be getting a zero for that, i'll probably drop it next year so i can focus on my more important subjects from all the time i missed at hospital.

my day was kind of lame today. im just looking for schoo to be over. and... wohoo funeral for a friend in 23 days!

current mood: tired

3 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Sunday, July 6th, 2003
12:04 pm - and ask me what its like to have myself so figured out...
i broke my edge oops. had some vodka saturday night and got a little tipsy. i hadnt eaten, and being on anti-depressants didnt help. oops. i gave in to sarah putting damn peer pressure on me. i hate that thing.

it was a funny night, i didnt end up crying out like i usually do and panicking, i cried in bed but no-one saw. phew. i found out amy is on anti-depressants too which was weird as shes so pretty and happy most of the time.. usually the way it works. hmmm everyone stayed out at the skatepark all night. HMM EW. it was funny though.. everyone was out of there heads. teenage life is actually quite pathetic sometimes.

oh yeah i hit some old woman. i wasnt drunk. i didnt have anything. i was demonstrating something in town and swung my arm back and whacked her in the face and she screamed "OH DEAR LORD" and started having a go at me so we ran into a shop and fell on the floor laughing. OOPS. i will never live that down. ever. watch out old ladies.

current mood: sick

11 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Friday, July 4th, 2003
4:27 pm - you want a song of glory? well im fucking screaming it...
i didnt go to school agaaain. psh. had fun downloading lots of the used songs/videos today.

my dad ordered our plane tickets to America yesterday!! yes im coming fuckers. whehaheyyyy. i should go into town or something tomorrow... get something to strech my ear with and some hair dye, maybe do that tonight...

no rest for the wicked. hmmm.

current mood: okay

6 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
12:35 pm - the fever, the focus.
this journal is annoying. i dont have a code and ill doubt ill get one, plus moving journals is annoying.

i wrote a letter to nikki, one of my friends back in hospital. i cried writing it. i really do miss hospital, is sounds lame, i hated being in there but... eh i guess im just wussing out of the current stuff thats going on. once again i didnt go to school, im not too bothered with it at the moment. im waiting for my part timetable that they should have sorted out ages ago. twats.

new brand new stuff is really good. over and over on reapeat. ill make brandnew icon later. yes. until later... die young and save yourself.

new colors ;)

current mood: crushed

3 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Friday, June 27th, 2003
3:27 pm - new design wheyyy ;)
i made a new design. and there are new icons :) hehe.

today was weird. i ended up crying in maths and then after sports day i was fine. hmm well im going to the cinema tonight :) im not sure what we're seeing but hopefully its going ot be good, then im staying round rios.

wow ive just heard to remake of the funeral for a friend song "juno" now "juneau" wow its erm different. niiiice. <3 i cant wait to see them!!!

current mood: curious

2 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Thursday, June 26th, 2003
2:25 pm - somehow i find beauty in our failings...
meh. i keep forgetting to take my pills o_O thats rather dumb.

F4AF in *counts* about 35 days!! wheyyyy. i can't wait its really gonna rule. at the moment, i want to see Thrice, Taking Back Sunday andddd A Static Lullaby then i'd be happy. ok some more bands but thats not the point.

sports day tomrorow. ah well not like im doing anything. hmm ill probably read or something.

ok im crying. and i dont even know why.

current mood: weird

5 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
10:19 pm
i never have anything to write in here anymore. its not that nothings happening, its just i dont want to write anything maybe (?)

i read some of The Bell Jar today, its quite interesting actually, except i cant seem to concentrate on it for more than two minutes without thinking about something less important. ehh.

i really like thrice. ive decided. they can be my one of my favourites. hah. this song is great. alot of the songs upset me though, the bring back memories of when i tried to make myself sick, and the sick feelings in my stomach i used to get. it really inspires me sometimes, i just want to write something. im just so blah to do anything anymore though. it really sucks. anyway my GSCE maths module test is tomrrow, say hello to an F. no seriously thatll be my grade.

current mood: blah

1 ♥ : break & spill. ?

Monday, June 16th, 2003
8:18 pm - soap#2.

i ate lots of doughnuts and this apple danish. mmmm.
my mouths watering just thinking about it.

anyway. friday i should be going on holiday with rio to the new forest. niiiiice. its going to be pretty rad. im not sure if i can go though as i have an exam monday morning. eep.

well i have been rather stupid lately.

we ArE takIng BaCk SunDAy from motherFUCking long isLand new YoRk>!>!>!!!

current mood: crazy

2 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Sunday, June 15th, 2003
7:14 pm - soap
my mood is low at the moment. i cut once earlier. i never write that in here anymore, if i do, i wont write it. i keep writing songs and i just look as it as a waste of paper. i want to do something i want to just scream and let it go but i cant find anyway to do it. all this work from school is too much, i can't concentrate in the lessons, let alone at home. i have exams nest week and i just can't deal with this, i dont want to resort to cutting again as i know i can get over it, but its the only way thats helping right now.

current mood: angry

6 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Friday, June 13th, 2003
2:45 pm - getting over a 3 leaf clover that i thought was 4...
i didnt go into school today. i don't know but i just felt bad.

something methinks would have happened as its FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH! AHAHA *scary noises* *screams* indeed. i did nothing all day except download thrice songs and pront off tabs.

i'm sleeping over rio's tonight and tomorrow we're going to the dumb fair, which is really faulty and smells like overcooked fake meat burgers but ah well. some fun there i guess.

current mood: sleepy

3 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
5:01 pm - this time ive got nothing besides do do do do do
my website is back up. go visit :)

i had family therapy today it really sucked. really bad. i just sat there for an hour not saying anything, i got to see everyone from hospital though<3 it was so good seeing them again!

school sucked, i can't concentrate on anything and my mood is up down up down up down. ah well i'll survive from here to saturdays going to be really busy&fun :)

current mood: busy

6 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
12:52 pm - please dont leave me without saying goodbye! :D
the gig was FUCKING amazing. seriously.

before the gig started we managed to rob some posters heh which are pretty neat. and meet matt from TSL :) he's so nice<3 and i bought a FATA hoddie zip up thing which rocks.

me and hannah got right up at the front and no-one knew much of the reuinon show so we kept shouting for songs and it got dedicated "to the girls at the front" YEAAH US. they lead vocalist was fucking woah crazy, it was rad! then it was from autumn to ashes, before; we had to wait so i started making owl noises and pissing everyone off and then me and hannah saw this guy with a Mae shirt so we were asking for stuffs NO LUCK THERE. and the guitarist was behind stage and we could see from the angle we were at and we kept waving and staring and he got freaked out & met him after the show and told him and he was like "that was you guys" lol. he signed my ticket<3

FATA were amazing! i just stood there with my mouth open half the time! mwaha. then they were about to announce the last song so we shouted "TAKE THE TO THE MUSIC STORE" and it was! so we got to introduce the song! :D mwahaha.

the starting line fuck me, ruled, i wasnt into them that much before, but live they are so great, especially when they played with RBF&sugarcult, they were so much better this time!they started with 'up&go' which is one of my favourite by them, then to 'given the chance', and 'leaving' which are my favourites too! mwahaha. it was amzing though, the atomospherre was incredible, matt & mike kept looking straight at us! it was crazy. i nearly cried to 'given the chance', i was singing to all the songs and lost my voice today. i really love that gig ....i was so happy! it cheered me up loads, we're planning loads at the wedgerooms (fuenral for a friend, lightyear, sparta, sugarcult...) mwahah.

thankyou hannah for coming, i hope you had a good time :D

current mood: cheerful

7 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003
4:12 pm - gig gig GIG
hey in 2 hours i'm leaving to see... FROM AUTUMN TO ASHES , THE STARTING LINE & THE REUNION SHOW. wooooooohoooo. with my love hannnnnah!

current mood: excited

7 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Sunday, June 1st, 2003
12:30 pm - mur.
yeeaah. new colors<3 i actually like theese ones.

current mood: tired

10 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Saturday, May 31st, 2003
3:29 pm - heres to a depressing post
i've been upset again. i'm really starting to hate myself again. i hate everything about myself. i started crying for no reasons at all sometimes, i get pissed off with things so easily and feel like screaming. i want to self harm so much, and i feel so bad as i have been regulary and i feel so dumb, i just want to keep doing it but dont aswell.... i dont want to write anymore.

current mood: confused

5 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Friday, May 30th, 2003
2:17 pm - i'm free!
i was discharged from hospital today! YAY!

current mood: excited

6 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Monday, May 19th, 2003
10:17 pm - YEAH
'you break my heart into a thousand pieces... and you say its because its deserve better NO SHIT SHERLOCK'

yyeeaaahhh im going to see from autumn to ashes, the reunion show and the starting line on june 3rd. YEAAAH. you know it bitch!

current mood: awake

6 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

Sunday, May 18th, 2003
10:16 pm - waiting for tuesday
tomorrow is going to suck, i have 4 lessons in school. i hate that thing. some people, meaning adi and his gay lover jake (im not even joking) have been leaving messages slagging me off in random guestbooks. how clever. major losers.

current mood: aggravated

2 ♥ s : break & spill. ?

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